Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

Peggy Orenstein

Jan 2011 · Sold by Harper Collins

About this ebook

Peggy Orenstein, acclaimed author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestsellers Girls & Sex and Schoolgirls, offers a radical, timely wake-up call for parents, revealing the dark side of a pretty and pink culture confronting girls at every turn as they grow into adults.

Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they?

In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.

Ratings and reviews

A. Hah! Daisy lives on. She seems to have grown toward Pocahontas dolls toward the end of the book. Daisy is Orenstein's daughter, who was about three and four when Peggy was writing this book. Q. Question: Why would a 64-year old male be interested in this type of book? A. What type is that? Q. A book basically for mothers raising daughters who are still below the age of puberty. Wouldn't you say that's the target audience for this book? A. Yes, I think so. I read it to get a well-rounded education, so to speak. I know nothing about these areas. And I did learn a lot. Orenstein has a chatty, conversational writing style and is not afraid to make fun of herself or others. The reading itself was enjoyable, but I also learned about the heroines young girls of today look up to. Q. You're pretty much out of the loop on that, no? A. I was. I still am, but I know a little more. I have several granddaughters about Daisy's age, or older, but I'm really only close to one of them, and in her particular case, Cinderella worship was never an issue. Peggy says that most women today see themselves as having been tomboys when they were young. My granddaughter really is a tomboy. There don't seem to be any self-esteem issues at all. She is oriented toward material things, but in her case, it's mostly electronics gear, of course, because she's older now. She's overweight, but it doesn't bother her much. She's also very tall for a girl her age. Q. Any complaints about this book? A. I think Peggy maybe generalizes a bit too far from her personal experiences, even though she talked to many experts. She lives in Berkeley, California, has been a well-respected author for many years, is married to a Japanese American many years older than herself. All of this tilts toward the extreme of the distribution. Her friends, living in Berkeley, are, well, like that, not at the peak of the normal curve, either. Berkeley is not a representative sample of the populace. I went to school there. Though that was 40 years ago, it hasn't changed that much. It's still much different than most of the country. Q. So the author's experiences become everyone's experiences? A. To a certain degree, but that's fine, if you understand the bias. It makes the reading much more interesting, for one thing, because most readers want personal details, not scientific babble, at least most general readers. Peggy gives us plenty of personal detail, and some chuckles also. Q. So you don't see a real problem in the way young girls are growing up so fast these days? A. Some are, some are not. Peggy cited some studies but things are changing all the time, every generation. I don't think this is a major problem in our society. They grow up fast, but if they themselves or their parents implant at least some spiritual values, they'll be fine.

I swear my daughter is ten and still goes crazy for princess

Must-read for anyone who has a daughter growing up in todays culture.

About the author

Peggy Orenstein is the New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex, Don’t Call Me Princess, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Waiting for Daisy, Flux, and Schoolgirls. A frequent contributor to the New York Times, she has written for the Washington Post, The Atlantic, Afar, The New Yorker, and other publications, and has contributed commentary to NPR’s All Things Considered and PBS NewsHour. She lives in Northern California.