Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving

Michelle Stevens, PhD

Mar 2017 · Sold by Penguin

About this ebook

“A riveting memoir that takes readers on a roller coaster ride from the depths of hell to triumphant success.”—Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called “It”

Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her: She’s only eight years old, posing for her mother’s boyfriend, Gary Lundquist—an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night, Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Little does she know that this will become her new reality for the next six years.

Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life: She’s in cap and gown, receiving her PhD in psychology—and the university’s award for best dissertation.

The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to healing, recovery, and triumph that is Michelle’s powerful memoir, Scared Selfless.

Michelle suffered from post‐traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression, and made multiple suicide attempts. She also developed multiple personalities. There was “Chelsey,” the rebellious teenager; “Viscous,” a tween with homicidal rage; and “Sarah,” a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date.

In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle’s courageous testament to their power.

Ratings and reviews

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET THE BOOK YET , BUT READING THE COMMONS IT SOUNDS A VERY INTERESTING BOOK AS THINGS HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS SMALL BUT NOTHING COMPARED TO THESE GIRLS.

Cannot stop reading until finished! Opens my understanding about a lot of stereotypes I hold on "victim" & "perpetrator" relationships. I'd put this book up there with the book called "A Boy Named It" which I read eons ago, where the boy was singled out for abuse in an otherwise somewhat "normal-appearing" family, and the author's strong bond with his abuser mom and how his siblings were totally compliant with mom's reality/abuse...& how these sort of dynamics can exist as well as propagate. Once again, our idea of what "normal is is again, relegated to the settings on a dryer. Be prepared to be educated!

Just wow. My mind is blown. I am always intrigued by psychological digs like this and I was not disappointed. A woman that has been through hell and back to go back again and relive it all and be alive to tell the tale. This story of bravery and the many misconceptions of mental illness and the realness of isolation when it is the least needed is so real. Bravo Michelle! Congratulations on such a successful life full of love after an upbringing of what no child should ever endear.

About the author

Dr. Michelle Stevens, a psychologist, is the founder and director of Post-Traumatic Success, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating and inspiring those affected by psychological trauma. She studied writing at New York University before earning her doctorate in psychology from Saybrook University, where her thesis was honored as the Dissertation of Distinction. Stevens has presented her research to the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation and the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, where she also received an award for Outstanding Research. She works with survivors around the globe, encouraging them to heal, grow, and fight for better lives.