Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Lindsay C. Gibson

Jun 2015 · New Harbinger Publications

About this ebook

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

• The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
• The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
• The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
• The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

Ratings and reviews

Absolutely brilliant. I saw this exact issue when facilitating a course for 11 x 16 to 25yr olds who couldn't get or keep a job in NZ. This was in the early 1990's. in my final report I wrote that for every one of the young ones in the group their emotional development had stopped at a particular age, due to a traumatic event. I learnt this by engaging each of them, hearing their stories and holding space for them. It was a fascinating 26wks, one in which I am very pleased to say the group and I saved a young man's life.

I find this very true. The youth have been and are always apolitical and apathetic to politics. There is a reason why parents are shielding children from the harsh realities of the world. I agree there. Freedom of speeches for the youth, can also do more bad than good. Limits are sometimes needed. It depends which party wins. Either the liberal side or the conservative side. I have no hate against the government, left and right parties alike. I am smart, but not a gifted prodigy. I am rather be choosing The First Amendment. Me, and many young people. I am considered a part of Basic Rights. I am politically apathetic and apolitical as a whole. I'm not selfish, arrogant, or obsessed with judging others viewpoints. I am only a volunteer, and cooperative person. I view things as rose tinted, childish escapism, and simple minded opinions. That's how I view the world through my eyes. But for me, I am legal of age. I'm afraid to grow up. Because I can't be independent.

It's a very good and helpful book, but take into consideration that it mainly deals with neurotypical behaviors and communication styles. Unfortunately it fails to take into account that some behaviors by neurodivergent people could be mistaken for being emotionally immature. For example answering a person's story with an experience of themselves is a way neurodivergent people often relate to others, without trying to be self-centering, its meant to be more of a 'I see you, I've been there, I understand how you're feeling.' Neurodivergent people are already marginalized enough, the stigma of 'emotionally immature' shouldnt be added to that.

About the author

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past she has served as an adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology for the College of William and Mary, as well as for Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia.