The Peacemaker: Edition 3

Ken Sande

Jan 2004 · Baker Books

About this ebook

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." But it often seems like conflict and disagreement are unavoidable. Serious, divisive conflict is everywhere-within families, in the church, and out in the world. And it can seem impossible to overcome its negative force in our lives.

In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande presents a comprehensive and practical theology for conflict resolution designed to bring about not only a cease-fire but also unity and harmony. Sande takes readers beyond resolving conflicts to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, coworkers, and fellow believers.

Biblically based, The Peacemaker is full of godly wisdom and useful suggestions that are easily applied to any relationship needing reconciliation. Sande's years of experience as an attorney and as president of Peacemaker Ministries will strengthen readers' confidence as they stand in the gap as peacemakers.

Ratings and reviews

In his book The Peace Maker Ken Sande introduces the church to the oft overlooked Biblical principles of conflict resolution and casts a vision of the radical impact these principles would have if the church actually took the Scriptural teaching on forgiveness and reconciliation seriously. Sande explains that although often Christians handle conflict no differently than unbelievers, conflict in fact provides great opportunities to glorify God in the process as our faith is revealed under pressure. He provides a helpful chart (p. 22) he refers to as “The Slippery Slope of Conflict” and explains that in conflict we are constantly battling two dangers; the danger to blow up or fall into an “Attack Response,” or conversely the danger of withdrawing into an “Escape Response.” Neither extreme, Sande explains are honoring to God. Instead, Sande challenges the believer to engage in a peacemaking response in which they humbly seek to restore the relationship. He argues that the resulting unity is not only something God demands, but is an essential component of our Christian witness. In order to achieve this unity, Sande proceeds to practically suggest steps toward peacemaking. He challenges the offended party to begin with their own life, humbly self-examining their lives and taking steps to confess and correct personal sin. He continues giving a systematic presentation of how to address sin whether in one’s own life or in the life of another person. A discussion of the nature of forgiveness follows, along with a discussion of various principles of mediation in conclusion. Several helpful appendices tackle additional questions such as when a Christian should go to court and what other formal methods of conflict resolution exist. Sande’s book is a very helpful and needed reminder of the Biblical principles regarding conflict and personal rights. We live in a society which is highly litigious and obsessed with personal rights. Sande exposes this for the selfishness which it is and reminds us of Jesus way of giving up what we deserve to be reconciled to those who do not deserve it. Ken is clearly a teacher with a gift for the organizational and systematic. Those with an ordered mind with appreciate the step-by-step processes, charts, and bullet points. On occasion, Sande attempts to codify common-sense and his extremely detailed instructions drag on for longer than is perhaps necessary. In spite of the length, however, Sande’s teaching reflects a repository of godly wisdom and Biblical insights gleaned over a long ministry. The numerous anecdotes demonstrate forcefully both the pragmatic value of the principle’s The Peace Maker outlines, but Sande’s personal track record of applying the principles for the benefit of the church. Personally, I found The Peace Maker to be a helpful book. While some elements of the teaching such as the Matthew 19 process were very familiar, other elements were fresh and challenging. I appreciated Ken’s personal challenge to take seriously the mandate to purge one’s life of every root of sin. The step-by-step instructions in the 7 A’s of Confession (p.126) or the Pause strategy to mediation (p.232) were equally memorable and pragmatic. This book challenged me to approach conflict from the other person’s perspective, truly understanding their wants and fears. If implemented, I believe these principles will allow me to not only improve my conflict resolution skills, but actually reduce the instances of conflict in the first place. This book is so broadly applicable that I expect it will be a helpful reference not only for personal conflict, but also for mediating disputes between other parties. Finally, I appreciated Sande’s focus on forgiveness as imaging the character of God and bringing him glory.

Best book ever

About the author

Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries, the Institute for Christian Conciliation and Relational Wisdom 360. Trained as an engineer, lawyer and mediator, Ken has conciliated hundreds of family, business, church, and legal conflicts. As president of RW360, he now focuses on teaching people how to "get upstream of conflict" by developing skills that strengthen relationships and reduce conflict in the family, church and workplace. He teaches internationally and is the author of numerous books, articles, and training resources, including The Peacemaker, which has sold over 500,000 copies in seventeen languages. He is a Certified Relational Wisdom Instructor and Conciliator, Emotional Intelligence Certified Instructor (through TalentSmart), and has served as a church elder and as an Editorial Adviser for Christianity Today. He and his wife, Corlette, have married children and a growing number of grandchildren, and love to hike and ski in the mountains near their home in Billings, Montana.