Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection

Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD · John Gottman, PhD

Jan 2024 · Sold by Harmony

About this ebook

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • LEARN THE 5 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL COUPLES

Conflict is the top reason couples seek help—but it's also an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love according to this essential guide from the world’s leading relationship scientists and authors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Eight Dates.

“An indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.

Through decades of research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the world-famous Love Lab, have identified the five common mistakes we make when we are at odds. In Fight Right, we learn the five secrets that help us to get back on track and harness conflict to build stronger, healthier relationships. With kindness, clarity, and a deep understanding of the struggles couples are going through, the Gottmans show us that we each have a unique conflict culture, borne of how we were raised and how we experienced past relationships, and they take us through all the possible combinations, from Avoiders, to Validators, to Volatiles, and how they can best work together. 

Fight Right is an essential resource that will help couples escape the win-or-lose mentality in favor of a collaborative approach: calming down, staying connected, and really understanding, so that our fights can bring us closer.

Ratings and reviews

Another great Gottman resource. The content is very well-organized. The concepts are explained clearly, and the examples are so vivid I found myself being sad or happy for the couples in the stories. Unsurprisingly, some of the concepts come from prior works, such as bids (turning towards or away), and the four horsemen. In these cases, I found the new perspective and examples helpful for retaining the information.

About the author

Julie Gottman, PhD, is the cofounder of The Gottman Institute and cofounder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist, she is the author of the national bestseller Eight Dates and the New York Times bestseller The Love Prescription. She is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert adviser on marriage, domestic violence, post-traumatic stress disorders, gay and lesbian adoption, and parenting issues.

John Gottman, PhD, is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. Dr. Gottman has conducted over fifty years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the cofounder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software, Inc., as well as the author of over 200 published academic articles and author or coauthor of more than forty books, including the New York Times bestsellers The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and The Love Prescription and the national bestseller Eight Dates.