Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology
Mar 2013 · Sold by Penguin
4.6star
148 reviews
Ebook
304
Pages
family_home
Eligible
info
About this ebook
Get this:
Cronus liked to eat babies.
Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.
Odin got construction discounts with bestiality.
Isis had bad taste in jewelry.
Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.
And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.
All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words.
Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider:
• Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.
• The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.
• The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.
• The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.
And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Cronus liked to eat babies.
Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.
Odin got construction discounts with bestiality.
Isis had bad taste in jewelry.
Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.
And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.
All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words.
Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider:
• Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.
• The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.
• The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.
• The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.
And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Ratings and reviews
4.6
148 reviews
feetraygun
- Flag inappropriate
July 20, 2017
Very fun to read. You can read a little here and a little there due to the bite sized chapters. Very good humor and a great way to spice up mythology. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys mythology.
Austin VanBebber
- Flag inappropriate
November 22, 2013
I started reading this with the idea that this guy is like Maddox minus the obnoxious self-obsession. While this book is crude and funny, I finished it with a slightly different perspective on society as a whole. I recommend this book.
2 people found this review helpful
Lauren “Sheepcreep” Kangas
- Flag inappropriate
December 20, 2015
I couldn't get enough of this book, and nearly burned through all of it in a day. Worth every penny. Honestly I'd pay another 12 bucks a day just to have this guy explain things to me. An excellent read!
4 people found this review helpful
About the author
Cory O’Brien is a dude who likes myths a whole lot. When he’s not writing about myths, he is usually yelling them at people in bars or posting them on his website, bettermyths.com. He is currently in the MFA program in writing at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Also, birds really freak him out
Rate this ebook
Tell us what you think.
Reading information
Smartphones and tablets
Install the Google Play Books app for Android and iPad/iPhone. It syncs automatically with your account and allows you to read online or offline wherever you are.
Laptops and computers
You can listen to audiobooks purchased on Google Play using your computer's web browser.
eReaders and other devices
To read on e-ink devices like Kobo eReaders, you'll need to download a file and transfer it to your device. Follow the detailed Help Center instructions to transfer the files to supported eReaders.
