Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Lori Gottlieb

Aug 2021 · Penguin Random House Audio · Narrated by Brittany Pressley

About this audiobook

Lori Gottlieb discusses Marry Him in a video on The Atlantic website.

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

Ratings and reviews

Wow! Loved this book. I do not relate to the writer in any way. I was married at 19. Currently 31 still married to the same great guy. We have 3 girls and a wonderful family and relationship. This book caught my eye, even though I don't need dating advise per say. At the same time, I just loved so many things in this book. I could relate to the feminism mind set - the desire to have a guy that will earn all the money AND is expected to help around the house. The desire to be independent, yet need a guy at the same time. I think I am definitely a "maximizer" with many decisions in my life. I love how she talked about that term and how I run the risk of always wanting more. I often forget how good I have it and tend to get into a funk - looking at my husbands "bad" or "missing" qualities. I appreciated this reminder to look for the good, search for the positive, and continue to focus on the relationship we are building. Thank you, Lori, a great read!

About the author

Lori Gottlieb is the New York Times bestselling author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough; Maye You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed; Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self, and a journalist whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Time, People, Slate, Self, Glamour, Elle, Salon, and the Los Angeles Times. She is also a frequent commentator for NPR’s All Things Considered.