I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

Tom Segura

Jun 2022 · Hachette Audio · Narrated by Tom Segura

About this audiobook

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. 
 
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. 
 
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. 
 
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.  

Ratings and reviews

Many of these stories have been told before on previous podcasts and stand up specials. There is enough new material to not feel cheapened by the purchase. For any Tom Segura fan, it feels like a must own.

Tom Segura, hilarious and relatable as always. I pre-ordered the hard cover for my collection, and also purchased the audio book for the sole reason that Tom narrates the book himself and includes funny audio snippets of his airline pilot impressions. 10/10 book to cheer you up when you're down. Absolutely recommend and will read/listen to again some day. Great book Tom, hope to see more of your penmanship in the future!

if you live life 365, then you're definitely going to want to have this audiobook. I've listened to it 4 times over going through the Falcon Car Wash, and it just gets better. Keep featherin' it brother!

About the author

Tom Segura is a comedian originally from Cincinnati, Ohio. Well known for his Netflix specials Ball Hog, Disgraceful, Completely Normal, and Mostly Stories, Segura has also made feature film appearances that include Instant Family, Countdown, Flinch, and The Opening Act, among others. Tom is one of the top selling touring acts in the world, having sold hundreds of thousands of tickets on multiple international tours. Additionally, he co-hosts two of the most popular comedy podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comedian Christina P. and "Two Bears, One Cave" with fellow comedian Bert Kreischer. Segura also producers multiple podcasts under his YMH Studios brand.