Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

Dr. Craig Malkin

Jul 2015 · HarperAudio · Narrated by Kiff VandenHeuvel

About this audiobook

Harvard Medical School psychologist and Huffington Post blogger Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic," by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing.

"What is narcissism?" is one of the fastest rising searches on Google, and articles on the topic routinely go viral. Yet, the word "narcissist" seems to mean something different every time it's uttered. People hurl the word as insult at anyone who offends them. It's become so ubiquitous, in fact, that it's lost any clear meaning. The only certainty these days is that it's bad to be a narcissist—really bad—inspiring the same kind of roiling queasiness we feel when we hear the words sexist or racist. That's especially troubling news for millennials, the people born after 1980, who've been branded the "most narcissistic generation ever."

In Rethinking Narcissism readers will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that we all fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side, and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self. On the far end lies sociopathy. Malkin deconstructs healthy from unhealthy narcissism and offers clear, step-by-step guidance on how to promote healthy narcissism in our partners, our children, and ourselves.

Ratings and reviews

I have read this book, and it's very insightful, very helpful, and surprisingly kind. I am trying to find another copy for a friend. Unlike other books on narcissism, it doesn't conflate narcissism necessarily with sociopathy, and is based on solid psychological research. The author explains the how narcissistic personality traits fall along a continuum from extreme narcissism (which is sociopathic and dangerous) to an extreme lack of narcissism (where people lose their 'voice' entirely and become 'echoes'), and argues that we could all do with a bit of healthy narcissism in order to live a passionate, happy life. He provides useful ways of understanding and managing the emotional impact of the often highly charismatic narcissists who both brighten and darken our lives; when to stay, and when to run away from them. I'd recommend this book to anyone who is, or has been, in a relationship with a narcissist (or has a parent, sibling, or colleague who is a narcissist), and is still trying to make sense of the emotional confusion that their contradictory behaviour can leave in their wake.

absolutely mind opening and blowing how close to home this book hits. helps better understand you're female companion as well as insight to yourself. highly recommend

good

About the author

Dr. Craig Malkin is an author, clinical psychologist, and lecturer for Harvard Medical School with two decades of experience helping individuals, couples, and families. His articles, advice, and insights on relationships have appeared in newspapers and magazines such as Time, the New York Times, The Sunday Times (London), Psychology Today, and Women’s Health, as well as countless other magazines and websites. He’s also been featured multiple times on NPR, CBS Radio, and the Oprah Winfrey Network channel; appeared on various local morning shows; and been a guest on more than sixty radio stations here and abroad. Dr. Malkin is president and director of the Cambridge, Massachusetts–based YM Psychotherapy and Consultation, Inc., which provides psychotherapy and evidence-based couples workshops. He lives in Boston with his wife and twin girls.