How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

David Richo

Mar 2018 · Penguin Random House Audio · Narrated by David Richo

About this audiobook

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships--one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts--what Richo calls the five A's--form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Ratings and reviews

An intelligent, thoughtful and thorough book, examining the very complicated subject of human relationship, with its many contradictions and multiple dimensions, with spiritual and philosophical examinations of why we do and feel the things that we do. The welcome blend of Eastern and Western thought add immeasurable value. It is far removed from the usual, often tiring 12-step material found in so much of the self-help literature out there, despite the fact that a few good references to 12-step are made. This only goes to show how willing this book is to find the best parts of so much and bring it to the table. This book is highly recommended. I only beef is that the person reading it is very, very slow.

I've never felt such resonance with a writer. Just listening to him I feel complete, like I have all the tools I need to go forward in life. Not to say I'll have the tools to handle everything, perhaps we're not meant to handle everything. But I'll have enough. Favourite book of all time, highly recommend!!

BRILLIANT THANKYOU!! will listen to again & again....self inquiry/reflection/love/understanding for myself & others ❤🙏!

About the author

DAVID RICHO, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.