Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Alfie Kohn

Jul 2016 · Tantor Media Inc · Narrated by Alfie Kohn

About this audiobook

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting-including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

Ratings and reviews

Fantastic fountain of wisdom and practical information. It's worth setting aside some peaceful time (where possible considering potential parental responsibilities) to really take everything in. The crucial guidance comes after an indepth look at the impact of a 'traditional' parenting style. Personally, the book is as much about my growth as a parent as it is about my children's. Would highly recommend to anyone looking to encourage and nurture the best in their children's life.

About the author

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. He is the author of fourteen books, including Unconditional Parenting and The Myth of the Spoiled Child (both available as Tantor audiobooks), and scores of articles. He lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at alfiekohn.org.